Writing is the right thing for me. I first felt that unconsciously in 2001 when I became a fan of a boy band who unknowingly inspired me to write. I first recognized that officially in 2004 when I decided to take a college degree in Journalism. I first proved that professionally in 2009 when I started working as a writer. And since 2013, I’ve been proudly writing about that when I created this blog (which is in fact named, “Writing is the Right Thing for Me”). Up until today that I’ve been sharing my struggles and successes in the writing field, I still have the same sentiments ~ writing is the right thing for me.
However, no matter how happy I try to be for having reached the status I currently have ~ a professional writer who is paid for doing what only used to be my hobby, I rarely get satisfied. In actuality, I am never satisfied at all. Surely, I help my company through the work that I do, the content that I write, and the words that I think of and put into creation. Certainly, I help my family with the money I get paid for. I even sponsored the college education of my younger sister, who’s already working as a copywriter now. Most definitely, I express myself best in writing, compose writing pieces about the things I go through, and easily draft long Instagram captions about the books I read, movies I watch, and concerts I go to.
In short, I am benefitting a lot from writing; hence, I should be fulfilled. But why does it seem that there is something missing? Why do I feel empty about the skill that I’ve been given? I surprisingly found the answer in a book that I finished reading a year ago (and am currently rereading) ~ Cat and Dog Theology by Bob Sjogren and Gerald Robison. I shared about it on my Instagram account so if you’re IG, I would really appreciate it if you can follow me @katrinareads.ph. 😀 Sorry for the shameless plugging, but many thanks!
On a more serious note, the book made me evaluate myself more. What kind of Christian am I? Or at the very least, what kind of writer am I? A cat or a dog? Let’s figure that out.
If I will have a cat Christian thinking, it’s easy to reason out that maybe, I’m just frustrated because even if I am working as a writer for the past 10 years, I have failed to be a real writer who has my own byline and is known in my field. But instead of being more disappointed with myself, I should bounce back and start writing outside work.
For example, I could create stories and post it on Wattpad or any online writing platform. I could also write movie scripts since I am into movies and pass it to someone who could make it possible for me to be a movie or TV writer. I could also write a blog about music since I also like going to concerts and court concert companies to partner with me. I could also take part-time writing jobs so that I could earn more money and possibly enjoy life more by splurging on things I could afford.
To be honest, the options are endless. I could easily transform myself into whoever I would envision myself to be. I could, if I would be a cat. But I wouldn’t, because deep in my core, I know I am not entirely a cat.
I am in fact a dog, and if I will apply that to my being a writer, I think I have been blessed with literally many things in life:
1. With hands that I can use both in holding a pen and writing my thoughts on a paper, as well as in typing on my computer whenever I create any forms of written content;
2. With passion for the written word ever since I was a student that’s why I loved literature-related subjects more than Math or Science;
3. With school activities that enabled me to determine in what areas of writing I would excel;
4. With people who served as my inspirations when it comes to writing;
5. With an opportunity to study about writing in college despite our family’s poverty and partial support from the people we asked to sponsor me;
6. To be working as a writer in different companies and industries; and
7. Ultimately, with a skill in writing that through God’s generosity I (hopefully) consistently improve in.
In short, whatever I am right now is only because of God’s tremendous blessings in my life. Surely, I have worked hard to come this far. Certainly, I am privileged to be hired by my employer. Most definitely, destiny has something to do with all of these. But if God had interfered in one way or another, nothing and no one even myself can make these things happen. Every single thing that I currently have in my career and in my life generally has been caused by God. He made all of these possible. Why? So that I can use it for His glory. But, am I doing it exactly? Am I writing for Him? Or am I only glorifying myself in this area of my life?
Unfortunately, the answer is a big disappointment. I have never used my God-given skill for His glory. I have never written for the purpose of revealing His greatness. I have never shared about Him to anyone. The cat Christian in me might justify that my being an introvert is the reason. But the dog Christian that I should be is saying that even my introvert personality cannot hinder me from truly glorifying God.
If I can easily write about books, movies, or concerts, isn’t it supposed to be easier for me to write about what God is? If in the past I have been sharing my journey as a professional writer, isn’t it better if I share my journey in Christianity? Okay, I may be an introvert and may not be pressured to really go out there to the different nations and disciple. But, I am a writer and through this blog, I can write about God and reach out to the different nations and disciple in a simple way.
So yes, I am hoping that from now on I can finally use this platform to share about God and how great He is. I know all of us have different religious views and I truly respect that. But God is God, and I owe my life to Him more than I owe it to my parents or even myself. And at 31, I am more than determined to really live my life for His glory, especially now that I have “almost” been close to dying due to cancer (more about that on my upcoming blog posts).
No, I don’t intend to have a personality transformation, be actively engaging with fellow Christians, attend all the church activities, and be part of a team of missionaries and literally go out there and reach out to the lost (although I am not closing my doors on this aspect). No, I don’t intend to worship in a loud way, pour out all my emotions whenever I sing praises and worship during church service, and lift up my hands every time I feel the power of the Holy Spirit (although I am not stopping myself if there comes a time that my emotions cause me to be really emotional because I do think that it’s also an act of surrender). No, I don’t intend to glorify God by being someone I am not (although I am not hindering God if He wants me to be a brand new person for His glory).
I want to glorify God now by being who I am now ~ the person He created me to be and the person He has been loving through the years despite all my imperfections. I want to glorify Him in my own simple and quiet ways. I want to glorify Him with my introvert personality ~ by not being part of the crowd, and by giving Him my whole attention and affection, far from the influence of other people. I want to glorify Him as an individual because faith is individual. And, I will start that by offering Him the skill that He has given me ~ writing and by using the platform that I currently have ~ blogging.
Hopefully, the followers that I still have will still welcome me in their WordPress world regardless of the faith that we might be sharing or not. After all, we all share the same passion for writing regardless if we have the same reason for doing it or not.